


Better early than never

by grossalien



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Adult Richie Tozier, I'll tag more as I update, M/M, Mentioned Losers Club (IT), Teenage Eddie Kaspbrak, Teenage Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Teenage Richie Tozier, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossalien/pseuds/grossalien
Summary: Most of the time, when you finally want to make things right, the universe won't let you. And some other times, but only very rarely, it will give you the second chance you probably don't even deserve.In which Richie finally gets his shit together, after coming back to Derry, and tries to confess his feelings to Eddie but something unbelievably ridiculous happens.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	1. This town is fucking with me

Richie couldn’t be more uncomfortable. It’s one thing to go back to the town that once caused you all the trauma that still follows you until today, which, by the way, is a lot already, but another one entirely is having to deal with the person you’ve been in love with since you were a stupid teen. The person you had forgotten until today but somehow you still have feelings for. 

Yeah, that fucking guy. 

How does that work anyway? How can you forget about ‘the love of your life’ for over two decades and still be not over them? Where is the damn closure? What the fuck is closure? Who invented that fucking shit? 

“Richie.” The voice of, quotation marks emphasized, the love of his life interrupted his thoughts. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine, just thinking about stuff.”

Eddie laughed dryly. “I get that. I’ve been thinking about running away ever since...” He frowned. The sentence could finish itself on its own.

Running away. That’s exactly what Richie felt like doing once he walked into that chinese dinner and saw Eddie in the flesh again. Run until he forgot about Eddie again. Run until Eddie forgot about him again. Just run.

And then Mike started talking about that fucking clown and it absolutely, definitely, undeniably made it worse. Forget running away, he wanted to burn Derry to the ground.

But that’s exactly what the clown wanted, right? For them to be scared, for them to want to flee. And after that pure terror had consumed the shit out of them, he would eat them. ‘Cause he fed on that, right? Their fears? Something like that. 

Well, in theory at least. 

The bright side of all this mess was that, maybe, for a bit, Richie wouldn’t have to care about the consequences of his actions. Since chances are he wouldn’t make it out alive anyway.

This fact was starting to dawn on him.

He stopped right in his tracks. 

“Eddie…” He said without thinking it enough.

“Mmh?” Eddie turned around with those big, so damn big, eyes of his. 

Richie’s stomach sank again. Maybe being eaten by Pennywise was still the better option. Being wiped out of this planet forever by a timeless clown. It wasn’t all that bad, in perspective. A deserved ending for someone like him. Sadly, the clown didn’t accept delivery suicide requests just yet. 

“Richie?” Eddie had stopped too, his eyebrows lifted in concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

They were in the middle of some random street that they once probably knew like the palm of their hands but now it was just melancholy inducing and only vaguely familiar. Everyone else had gone their own ways, searching for the tokens that Mike insisted were so important. Richie wasn’t really excited to reconnect with Pennywise or, well, any of his other issues. He already knew where he had to go, he just didn’t want to and, from the looks of it, neither did Eddie. 

I mean, seriously, what kind of therapy was this? Oh, yeah, let’s just separate and confront our deep rooted traumas, alone, in this creepy ass town where there’s a murderous clown in the hiding! Who’s with me! Gee, Mike, you absolute genius! What’s next, go to the clown’s place and start fighting it with our bare hands? Oh, wait, we’re gonna do that, too! And if we don’t, we’re gonna die horribly? Nothing but good news and genuine fun during this fucking visit!

To be honest, Richie didn’t care about conquering his fear or growing as a person or any of that corny shit the rest of the Losers would try to preach to him. He just wasn’t very cool with the idea of dying with regrets, and boy, did he have a lot of those. So if he could check at least one off the list, maybe he wouldn’t be so miserable at the time of his (very probably near) demise. 

He breathed in very carefully, if he choked now it would be about the worst confession ever. 

“I have to tell you something.” 

His friend replied in a confused tone. “O…kay?”

Richie continued, ignoring the way his heart felt like it was rising to his throat. “It’s important. Honestly I never wanted to tell you this and it might be just about the worst timing ever but...”

“What is it, Rich?” 

Richie froze mid sentence, his mouth hanging open. Anxiety had crept its way onto Eddie’s face. He hated being the cause of that. Now it was definitely too late to back off. He swallowed tensely. How could he say this in a way that wouldn’t upset Eddie...too much? The last thing either of them needed was more stress and he was about to drop a goddamn bomb on his childhood friend. He peered at the concrete under his feet.

_Alright, Trashmouth, it’s now or never._

“I’ve always…” He tried looking back up and was met with Eddie’s ridiculously huge eyes. They were full of apprehension now. What was he getting so stressed for? He wasn’t the one about to confess the one thing he had been trying to hide his entire life. He avoided his stare again.

“Always…” He repeated. 

“Ri-Richie?” 

No. Nope. Nuh-huh. No way. No, no, no. Absolutely no fucking way. He wasn’t gonna say shit. Not now or ever. Pennywise could come and eat him anytime, he wasn’t gonna speak. This secret was dying with him. 

Richie cleared his throat. “Yeah, no, I was just wondering if we should-”

_Look for our tokens together? Are you a fucking idiot? You go to the arcade with him and he’s gonna find out you’re a homo, you stupid asshole. God damn it, Richie._

“The…”

“Dude, what is it? You’re worrying me.” Eddie was getting impatient and rightly so because Richie was giving Bill a run for his money with this stammering. 

He faked a smile, probably one of his top 5 fakest smiles ever but that was Richie alright, the guy who always smiled on the outside and rarely on the inside. “Just thinking maybe we should part ways here.”

Eddie seemed underwhelmed. “Oh. Right. Right.”

“We don’t want to make the group wait, haha.” Richie wanted to praise himself for even being able to poorly perform a laughing noise when he actually felt like fainting. 

“Yeah I. Yeah we should do that. Sorry. I got distracted. I’ll be going then.” Without glancing back at his friend, Eddie walked forward and it only took a second.

It only took a second for Richie to remember.

How he was unable to tell him back then, when Eddie left Derry, back when they were just teenagers. He just watched Eddie’s back get more and more far away, his eyes burning with tears. His choked up voice locked by his closed lips. He didn’t want to feel like that ever again. It didn’t matter if it went badly, if Eddie didn’t want to speak to him anymore. I mean, they probably wouldn’t see each other again if they survived this, right? Maybe Richie could finally move on. Finally find the closure he was waiting for. He smirked at himself, knowing how unlikely that was. 

“Eddie! Wait.” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loud.

Eddie turned to meet him with a surprised expression. They weren’t too far apart but Richie felt like closing the gap anyway. “Sorry, I lied just now. I’m full of shit. I don’t want you to go away. I’ve never wanted you to go away. Never. For the past 27 years of my life I’ve-”

He could only afford to see Eddie’s eyes widening (seriously how big could that guy’s eyes get) before it happened. 

It was out of nowhere. A beam of light, so bright that it blinded him momentarily. And then everything turned dark. 

-

Richie woke up coughing, tasting the ground he was lying on. He attempted to stand up but a headache stronger than his worst hangovers attacked him. He sat and held his head, the muscles of his face contorting in pain. Where the hell was he? Did he drink too much last night? I mean, probably, but nothing he wasn’t used to. Probably. 

He opened his eyes just faintly and everything was blurry. Right, his glasses. With a clumsy hand he searched for them. They were just a few centimeters away from where his head was moments ago. He put them on and tried looking around. Still blurry but getting better.

_Jesus, Richie, did you accidentally pass out in the woods after crying for hours because your childhood crush is married now?_

Right, Eddie!

Everything came back to him.

He was about to confess to Eddie fucking Kaspbrak when some lightning saved him from his own stupidity. But how did he end in the woods then? Wait, was this the clown at it again? Also where the fuck was Eddie?

“Oh my god. No, no, no, no no. What’s happening. What’s going on. Ugh, I’m so fucking dirty, mom’s gonna kill me. Wait. Richie? Oh my god, where am I. Fuck!’ A voice Richie thought would never heard again yelled behind him.

He turned in slow motion, like in a cliché horror movie.

A boy, too small for his age, with his hair brushed backwards and an expression that signaled an imminent anxiety attack was there. The kid was cleaning the dirt off his shorts way too short for a boy, the fanny pack on his waist vibrating with his movements. He hadn’t noticed him yet. Richie fell against the tree trunk behind him.

There was no doubt.

He was looking at teenager Eddie Kaspbrak.

Man, was Pennywise good with his illusions. Gutsy fucking clown.

“Was this your best idea, you fucking asshole? Do you think this is gonna scare me? Do you think I’m gonna start shitting my pants now? Not even close, you dipshit!” He cried out, startling the boy. They locked eyes.

Damn, he was uncannily similar to the real thing. Like insanely so. Fucking creepy shit. “You can’t stop me now! You can’t stop me from saying what I wanted to say! I’m not gonna be scared by some replica!” He continued. 

The brat had the same disturbthe real Eddie would and opened his mouth to speak, probably to throw in some cheap taunting, but Richie beat him to it by screaming with all his might. “I love you, Eddie Kaspbrak! I’ve always loved you! I loved you even before knowing love wasn’t just putting dicks inside holes! I love you and I will always regret not having told you sooner!”

The bespectacled man grinned in satisfaction. He had won. Yeah, the fake Eddie would transform into Pennywise at any moment now and eat him alive but he won, still. The stupid clown couldn’t scare him anymore. He had confessed the thing he was most scared to confess to the person he least wanted to confess. Well, it wasn’t the real deal but you gotta celebrate the small victories. Richie could die slightly happier now. What a dream. 

The fake-Eddie was shocked. 

“I got you now, didn’t I? I bet you didn’t expect that, you sloppy bitch!.” Richie exclaimed, triumphant. 

He reached to touch the Pennywise-Eddie’s lifted arm but was slapped away. What the hell? Why would the clown, of all fucking things, reject him? Wasn’t he gonna give him a painful death and all that shit? Was he losing his touch or some shit? Richie squinted.

Oh shit.

Oh. Shit. 

That wasn’t Pennywise.

It was the real Eddie, in the flesh.

Right in front of him.

Richie tried to move backwards but a powerful hit on the back reminded him of the existence of tree trunk behind him. 

_Hey, Trashmouth, what the fuck did you have last night? This is worse than that one horrible trip you had from eating too many edibles back in college...Wait, is this hell?_

Eddie took his silence as a cue to start babbling. “Did you just...what the fuck. How do you know my name even- wait, don’t talk to me!” He covered his mouth, apparently realizing something. “Don’t tell me…” He turned his head towards the town, not too far away from them, and started yelling “Help! Help me! There’s a fucking pedophile! Help me! Somebody help me please! He’s gonna kidnap me!”

_This definitely has to be hell._

Still refusing to accept the situation, Richie exclaimed on instinct “What? No! Stop!” while trying to grab Eddie’s arm again. 

The latter shrieked. “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me! I’m calling the police, you know! They’re coming over here as we speak! Look!”

Instead of being offended, Richie simply snorted. “You and me both know how useless the cops are in this city, Eds.”

“Don’t call me-” Taken aback by the nickname, Eddie lowered his defenses.

The man saw his chance. _Alright, don’t screw this up, Richie. Remember how scared we all were of adults._

“It’s me, Richie.” He smiled in the most non-threatening way he could think of. _Please don’t scream. Please don’t scream. Please don’t scream._ If the kid yelled any more he could get in serious trouble.

Eddie grimaced in disbelief while still staring into this eyes. After a few seconds, he found it. The remains of the Trashmouth he knew in that old man’s face. He exhaled heavily, the dazement written all over his features. 

The man tried to help. “I know, I know, it’s really fucking wild and I-”

“You didn’t grow into your looks.” Eddie cut him off abruptly.

Richie scowled with exasperation “What.”

“Well, Beverly said...you’d grow into your looks...you didn’t. Your hairline is receding and that facial hair is awful.” Eddie said with almost disappointment in his voice.

_First he thought I was a pedo and now he’s calling me ugly? Kid, leave me some self-esteem, would you?_

“Alright, thanks bud. Missed you too.” Richie retorted sarcastically. 

The boy didn’t show remorse. “So are you gonna explain what’s going on or what? If you do anything weird I’ll scream again.” He threatened. Despite everything, he sounded pretty collected. 

“No need to say it twice. And I have no fucking clue.” Richie replied while scratching his head. The fact that he was in front of the decades-younger version of his crush was starting to sink in and it was way too much to take in, just like that. Then again, he was in Derry so it wasn’t entirely unlikely that this was actually happening. “The timing was so fucking weird too…” Suddenly something clicked in his mind. “Wait, you where with me, right? I heard you call my name earlier.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah! We were…” He gazed down, seemingly remembering something. “We were going to…” Upon closer inspection, his eyes were misty.

_Don’t tell me…_

Richie gulped. “What date is it, Eddie?”

The aforementioned raised his head in confusion. “Huh? It’s June 30.” After a short pause, he added “Of 1990. You know what that means righ-wait, what year are you from even?”

The 40 year old man stood petrified. 

_Oh, you gotta be kidding me._

So that’s what this all was about, wasn’t it?

_What kind of twisted joke was this?_


	2. Words speak louder than actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here is the other side of the coin! Plus some explanation for those who were left confused by the conclusion of the first chapter.

Eddie blinked a few times and, without waiting to remember what just happened, he jumped to his feet, startled. Instinctively, he cleaned the dirt off his clothes and looked around, mildly panicked. Just a little. He was in the middle of the woods. Not a single soul in sight. His _mildly_ turned into _considerably_.

A strong headache made itself aware. Eddie searched in his pocket for the bottle of aspirins he took with him everywhere. Being a risk analyst did not come without its mandatory dose of stress, and considering Eddie was already a prone-to-stress man, headaches were like an ex he couldn’t shake off. It was still there. Relieved amidst the confusion, he uncapped the bottle and swallowed one. Two just in case. Although there was no way the medication could act that fast, he was already feeling miles away better. 

But back to being panicked, _how_ and _why_ did he end up here? This was like the opening scene of those crime shows Myra liked to watch so much. And most of the time, the protagonist of said sequences didn’t make it out alive. He shook his head off, trying to gather all the optimism he had left. First things first-

There was a creak. Terrified, Eddie hid behind a tree and peeked. He could make up a masculine-looking silhouette getting closer. He gulped dramatically. It was the serial killer that was gonna kill chop his body into pieces with an axe and then bury them in different locations that were actually leading to the criminal’s house because, ironically, he wanted to be stopped. Eddie didn’t like these shows but they were very predictable and he didn’t want to have a corny death like that. 

He turned his head around and breathed in. _Think, Eddie, think. There must be something you can do. Remember those self defense classes you took years ago? Those could come in handy right now. Headlock him until he loses consciousness. But don’t kill him because that would be a lot of legal trouble. You might get fired from the company even. Who even wants to associate with a murderer, even if it was out of self defense? You do remember how to headlock someone, right, Eddie?_

“Eddie? Eddie, where are you?!” Someone cried out. 

Shaking, Eddie peeked once again. Did the serial killer know his name? Was it someone he knew?

The silhouette had now become a distinguishable person. It was a boy wearing an ugly hawaiian shirt. The boy called his name again. Eddie realized with horror that he actually recognized that voice. 

But that couldn’t be. 20-something years had gone ever since, right? How could, teenager Richie Tozier be there, unaffected by the passage of time, when Eddie had seen his older version just a few minutes ago?

Wait, that’s right, wasn’t Richie with him? He was telling him something…

“Just scream if you hear me, Eddie!” What seemed to be young Richie yelled, getting closer to the tree Eddie was hiding behind.

He couldn’t help but notice that the frame of his glasses, the quintessential part of his friend, was way more defined now, confirming it was the one and only Richie Tozier. But a detail that caught his attention even more were his (magnified) eyes. Were they...shiny? Or was it the lens flare? He raised his head to get a better view, curiosity getting the better of him. He could count on one hand the times he had seen Richie upset enough to get even teary eyed. 

Richie’s steps started getting weak, he muttered a shaky “Eddie?” before the aforementioned got a full view of his face.

Tears were running down his cheeks and his eyes were turning pink. He sobbed weakly “Don’t go…” before collapsing onto the ground. Eddie instinctively wanted to go after him and console him, like when they were kids but something held him back. 

“Please don’t go, please don’t go…” Richie repeated while crying, pulling the grass. “Don’t leave me…”

And at that moment, his brain played, like an alarm, the words his friend had babbled earlier. 

_Sorry, I lied just now. I’m full of shit. I don’t want you to go away. I’ve never wanted you to go away. Never. For the past 27 years of my life I’ve-_

“I love you...” Richie whispered in a tone that would’ve been inaudible if it wasn’t for the fact that the forest was deadly silent right now.

“Fuck...” Eddie whispered in turn, realization hitting him like a truck. He didn’t think the town could get any more insane after remembering the fucking clown but he had never been more wrong in his entire life. He took a step back and, oh, of course, of fucking course, he had to step on a branch, making a creaky sound. 

Richie turned his head at lightning speed towards the direction of the noise. “Who is there?” He asked, wiping his tears. “Eddie?” He stood up and began walking again. “Is that you?”

_Shit. Fuck. Now he was really screwed. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Eddie covered his eyes, like a kid, in a desperate attempt to run away from this reality. Yet another reality he couldn’t deal with. Maybe this was all a nightmare. The whole thing. Maybe he needed some days off. Maybe this was a signal to go to a therapist. Maybe-

Silence.

Eddie started to open his fingers, slowly. Would he find himself still in the forest or just looking at the ceiling, his wife sleeping next to him? He inhaled in anticipation.

But life was playing him a practical joke and the thing he found in front of him was the teenaged version of his childhood friend, looking back at him. With a mix of both consternation and resignation, he let his hands fall, numbed. 

Upon seeing his uncovered visage, Richie observed him quietly for a few moments and then, his wet eyes grew twice its size behind those glasses. Any chance of being unrecognized was crossed out of Eddie’s list. He grimaced, preparing himself for the inevitable.

“Eddie?” Richie spoke and was immediately stricken by doubt. “Wait, no. But. Is this...Is this a dream?” He squinted. “Am i dreaming? This is so freaky, holy shit.” He approached Eddie and reached for his cheeks. 

Eddie, reflexively, grabbed Richie’s wrist. “It’s not a dream.” His eyes met his friend’s and only then he realized how close their faces were. He pulled back and let go, feeling awkward. “Ah, sorry.”

Richie half flustered, half disbelieving, asked “Are you…?”

“Yes, it’s me, Eddie Kaspbrak.” He cleared his throat, irritated. “Eds.” 

Richie’s jaw dropped comically. “What the fuck!” He yelled almost instantly. “How!”

“I don’t know. I was just talking to Richie and then. Wait. You’re also Richie.” Eddie paused, his brain still not assimilating the mindfuckery he was now involved in. “The...uhh...you but like... older and then-”

“The future me?!”

“Yeah.”

“Wow!” Richie shouted. “So is it how Bev said? Did I grow into my looks? What do you think?”

Amused by the ridiculous question, a chuckle came out of Eddie’s lips. “Is that really what you’re the most worried about right now?” 

“Hey! Why are you laughing!” Richie pretended to be offended. “Just because you grew to be-” He stopped himself. “I mean. Don’t keep me waiting, Eddie spaghetti.”

Eddie was hit by nostalgia upon hearing that pet name. “Yeah, you’re all handsome now.” He replied, still smiling fondly, his gaze on the green ground.

He was expecting the younger version of his friend to come up with a smartass retort but he was greeted by quietness instead so, naturally, he looked up. And that’s when he saw.

It’s true that Eddie had forgotten most of his memories from his childhood in Derry but he could have sworn on his mother’s grave (may her soul rest in peace) that Richie had never stared at him like that before. Not that Eddie had noticed at least. And he would know because nobody had ever looked at him like that, ever, in his entire life. Not his wife. Not his mom either. No. Those were the eyes of unconditional love, something Eddie had never encountered in his 40 years of life. 

It only lasted a split second, though. Richie quickly regained his composure and blurted a ‘“Fuck!” before holding his head on his hands. “Eddie! What happened to him? I was just with him and then-wait.” He froze at such a position that the light reflected on his specs, making impossible to see what was behind them.

“Wh-What?” 

“Did you hear? I mean. Hm. Yeah. Did you hear me earlier?”

_Uh oh._

Eddie was never good at lying but he wasn’t a fan of destroying kids’ dignities.

“Uh...what? No, I just got there, like, literally. 30 seconds ago.” 

Richie leaned in, inspecting him closely. Eddie refrained from gulping even though it was his knee-jerk response when nervous. “You know that sounds like bullshit, right?” The teenager commented. 

“Yeah, well, pretty sure meeting the future version of your friend doesn’t exactly sound like the most realistic scenario, either.” Eddie shot back in an obvious tone.

“Uh, normally, sure, but we did fight some kind of murder clown as kids so this isn’t that shocking.” Richie countered, not wanting to lose. “Yeah, ok, seems like you’re not lying! Cool!” 

Eddie tried not to show relief. “Why would I even lie about that? Do I look like an eavesdropper to you?”

Richie just contemplated him without saying anything.

“Hey!” exclaimed Eddie, insulted.

“Kidding, kidding!” the prankster responded while cackling. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know.” He added, wiping the corner of his left eye.

Eddie wondered how his pubescent self would react seeing his friend beam like that at him. Or had he already seen it and simply forgotten about it?

“So...about Eddie. Since you’re here I figure he’s fine but. Still, man, this shit’s fucking crazy.” Richie looked sideways. “I’m not even sure how I ended here.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Eddie inquired, frowning.

“Like, we were in the middle of the street and some _insane_ flash of light happened out of nowhere! It almost fucking blinded me and I’m already almost blind, if you get what I mean!” Richie pointed at his glasses.

“I was also...we were also walking around when this happened.” Eddie crossed his arms as he tried to find probable causes for this surreal incident. 

“Oh wo-o-o-ow.” Richie bleated like a sheep. “The plot thickens. Whatever shall we do, Mr. Kaspbrak? The people are waiting for your answer. “ He faked holding a microphone in front of Eddie. 

“Right. For now I can only think of one thing.” The aforementioned stated. “What’s the date, Richie?”

The smile fell from the kid’s face faster than a bullet. “Well…” He trailed off, avoiding visual contact. 

“Well?” Eddie repeated, impatient. 

Richie scratched his head as his eyes followed an invisible curve above the man’s head. He sighed. “It’s June. 30th.”

Confused, Eddie began speaking. “Year? Dude, I need a-” Realization hit him again, but this time like a wall of bricks. “Wait. 1990?”

The boy in front of him nodded, sober. “Yup.”

“Ah.” Eddie verbalized. “Ah.” He said one more time. 

Only 2 words came to his mind, now that he understood Richie’s mood shift: _Well, shit._

-

It was just another sunny summer day. Another school year had ended. For most of the kids, this was a celebration time, they had freed themselves from their haunting teachers and were resting under the sun. No worries in sight, just pure, unbridled joy. Right now, their biggest concern was choosing which movie to watch next with their friends at the local movie theater.

But not for the Losers. 

For them, it was the opposite.

After defeating Pennywise, a year ago, Sonia Kaspbrak started getting even more paranoid over her son’s safety. It didn’t help that Eddie got his arm broken some time before that. For the past year Eddie had worked on calming her down, only managing for brief periods before her hysteria exploded all over again. Eventually, she decided to move out of Derry for good the following summer and no, there was no room for discussion. 

Eddie was planning to leave after finishing high school anyway, because the town was still giving him the creeps even with the clown gone and all that. But he wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon, this place was still the only thing he knew, the place where he grew in. His friends were here. The only friends he ever had. Eddie was sure he was never gonna find anyone like them, ever again. The thought was soul-crushing. 

When Beverly left, she might have written a letter or two but she quickly stopped doing so. None of the Losers blamed her, they guessed she was probably really busy with her new life and would probably get back to them when things settled down. 

But the weeks passed and there was nothing but silence from her side. Little by little, they all started realizing she might have just...actually forgotten about them. And, well, it made sense, she really just hung out with them for a summer. Yeah, it might have been one hell of a summer but still. It was just a couple of months. And being away made everything look smaller, probably. 

Somehow, they all interpreted this as the inescapable fate that was going to be casted upon them when they left. People grow up, they move on, they forget. That’s what adulthood is all about. And with every passing day they were closer to that. 

Still, Eddie didn’t want to forget. None of the Losers wanted to forget. About the terrifying clown, about the way they overcame their fears, about the bonds they built. About the way he felt with them. 

He was gonna miss Bill and his courageous and reckless attitude at all times. He admired him so much. He was gonna miss Ben, who had more patience than Eddie knew he would have in his entire life. He was gonna miss seeing Stanley’s love for birds, him writing down observations in his book even though it seemed like the most boring thing in the world. He was gonna miss gentle Mike, who had suffered so much yet remained the kindest of them all. He hated to even admit it to himself but he was gonna miss Richie’s badly timed jokes, he always managed to cheer him up. Sometimes even the ones about his mom, though he would never say that outloud. 

“Hey, Eds, if you keep walking so slowly I’m gonna leave you behind and elope with Mrs. Kaspbrak, don’t say I didn’t warn you!” exclaimed Richie, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, I’m going.” replied Eddie absentmindedly while picking up the speed.

Normally he would protest to the provocation but this wasn’t a normal day, no.

Today was June 30th. The day he was leaving Derry.

**Author's Note:**

> My first multichapter I guess? I don't plan to make this too long but hey, it's something. Thanks again to my girlfriend (@shouriii on twitter) for cheering me up and giving me tips.


End file.
